Internal Conflict

I've been having this internal conflict, sort of like the one expressed in Crossroads.

What's to come.

I was just talking to my soul sister @efauxfox and I was able to sum it up in words.

I'm not worried about myself, I'm on a good path. I'm just not sure where I am going...




I don't know if PR is my path. 
And I don't know what I'm doing with my life.

I think it's extremely important, in the day and age, to have a degree. I'm more than half way through getting mine so I'm not going to switch majors now but I just don't know if I can see my self in this field forever.

If I could do anything I would go into film. My first major in college was Digital Film but I quickly realized it was unrealistic. Being in the film industry takes a lot of effort and passion. Although I do feel film is my passion, I love being able to tune out and watch a movie rather than having to over analyze it. Movies are never something I would want to get tired of so I'm staying away from that.



I was thinking about all of this while I was at the movie The Place Beyond the Pines, yesterday.
I liked it a lot. Parts of it were overly developed, yet you were still left asking questions.
It was very unique though and of course my boyfriend gave a knock out preformance #ryangosling

omg. I die.

I love being creative, which is part of the reason I chose PR. You can put a lot of yourself into campaigns, sometimes. I love writing but I don't know if I could make a real career out of it.

Something else, both Emma and I are passionate about, is spirituality. I would love to develop my intuition. Some people may find that funny but I take it very seriously and I feel sorry for you if you can't tap into it.

I love chakras, the mind and soul. I would love to explore that.
I've come to my own conclusions about my beliefs from the people I've met, things I have heard, and places I've had to get through. I don't really associate with organized religion but I love the concepts.

I'm just scared of being stuck in an office that I hate. I feel like I have time now to figure it all out so I'm not getting super stressed out about it
but I just ~wonder~

Where will I be in 5 years? Will I even have a career? Will I have a baby? Will I still be in recovery?

If you don't know what your doing with your life are you doing something wrong? Or are you on the right path?

Questioning everything is imporatant. There's nothing that irks me more than blind belief.

Question everything. 

Ultimately I will find my way, until then I'll just work on today.