What The Fuck, Yab?

You may know me, and you may know me well, but you may not know any of this.

#mylifeat21

I never thought I’d be here. Sitting in the loft of my apartment, that I share with my two guys friends.
I’m now a "college drop out", with no real direction, trying to figure it all out.

I feel I talk about my life with my friends too often. So I’ve decided to write, and blog, instead.
So... instead of choosing to tell my problems to just my close friends, and therapist, I choose to share with the world...
It feels good though. To tell someone who can’t say anything back. 

I feel like there is a world I never knew of that  I was introduced to when I turned 21.

My life wasn't going exactly as it had been planned out you could say.  My year was well planned out...
I there was suppose to beginning, middle, and end.
Now, I don’t even know where I am in that process.


The beginning:
I was sitting in my favorite outfit- cape may sweat pants, four dollar Old Navy sweater, and mooched hipster glasses- on my [inherited] red couch, with matching glitter pillow.
I had my very own princess pad- that I paid way to much for- but had prime B-town downtown location.

There was a kitten around somewhere, that I had just taken into custody, from a former resident of mine in the dorm (that I was the RA of for about a month...until shit hit the fan... aka became the drop out, due to financial complications, that really sucked. THE ECONOMY SUCKS RIGHT NOW)

Some way, some how, I landed an amazing job. 

The Middle:
I then worked in cupcake land, at a cupcake bakery and I love, loved, loved my job.
I worked Monday thur Friday and had tuesdays off, usually. I made tips, for the first time ever.
This lead to a serious appreciation for tips that I would never have had otherwise (I also now subtly judge people by how they tip).


Currently:
I like that I am not going to school, and may not go back for a while.
School has always been a huge stress for me. I love and hate the classroom at the same time. It's given me amazing perspective and an appreciation for life, and learning, that I never truly had.

I go to the movies alone sometimes and I love the used bookstore. I own more books then I've read. I'm ok with that, it give me goals.
I love being inspired and as much as I hate people, deep down, I really love them.

I recently have fallen in love, with myself. 
I have come to realize I don't need to be everyone's best friend, except my own. If you don't love yourself it's pretty difficult to find love anywhere else.
And through realizing this, I've actually made some great friends and gotten rid of some horrible ones.











I don't care if you don't like me. It's not something I'm going to waste time and energy on. So don't waste your time hating me, just fuck off. 

I've been through a lot, but I've never been alone.
This is how I give back.


 








And Now (2013):
I've moved home because I've missed it. I'm back in school, at Temple University.
As of March 20, I've decided to make a change, within me.
Get my act together finally, and find that direction I've been needing, and truly searching for.
I'm clean and sober and healthy, and could not ask for more. Except more sobriety.
I'm not saying goodbye to the old Yab, I'm just getting in touch with her again. Really, really.

If your not on board. Fuckyaself. 

I stay grounded. With two feet on the floor and glitter by my side.

#groundedbyglitter. 

x0x0