Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Women Crush Wednesday

Cara Delevingne












Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Why I hate Valentines Day

I don't hate valentines day because it was created by Hallmark and greeting card companies. I don't hate it because it is a day of chocolate, actually I love that it involves candy. I don't hate it because it has to do with love, I really do love love.
I hate it because every year it is absolutely miserable.


Never have I ever: Had a real valentine.

The only person that has been truly good to me on valentines day has been my mother.

Two years ago, this lovely holiday, I was starting to spiral out of control, was eventually hospitalized for 30 days and this day definitely contributed to that.

Valentines day is overrated. and is stupid. 

I have learned to have very, very low expectations. Don't hope for the best, expect the worst. Simply, expect the worst.

Call me cynical all you want but I have no mercy for this day.

Maybe movies and Hallmark hype this day up for everyone anyway. I have yet to hear of someone actually having a fantastic valentine's day. In fact, it's SUPRISE! YOU GUESSED IT! Usually a let down for the majority of people.

Fuck cupid.

Ya sure I would love to have a valentine, don't get me wrong. And ya of course, I got them in school and from my loves.
BUT LIKE WHAT EVEN IS A VALENTINE? Have you ever asked that question? Or do we all just assume it's meaning? Am I the only one slightly confused about this?

Be mine, valentine?
like ya, sure... but what does that entail?

According to Yahoo Answers, a valentine is someone special.

Maybe I'm just letting this holiday get the best of me, yet again.

Like I said, Expect the worst.

And like yes, I know I am just being super cynical. But like this is not my holiday. Nothing good has ever happened.

@annae wants me to go out on the town with her which I am trying to decide if I am ok with.
I would really like to go to the movies and watch something about a love that I will never have and then eat chocolate till I puke, because I can't even drink wine til I puke- which is definitely a good thing for everyone...

TO ALL YOU MEN OUT THERE: we are all expecting something. The movies and greeting cards in life have made this the day we want something special to happen. But I am expecting the worst.
Good luck men. Don't fuck up.

Truth be told: Maybe I don't hate valentines day. Every year I give out valentines and I love making valentines. Like I said in the beginning, I do love love. I'm just secretly scared it will never find me.
idk why... 


I'm LYKE SO PRETTY THOUGH 


Sunday, February 2, 2014

Resolutions.

Ok so this is a little delayed...
Considering it's Febucray... which means valentines day... which means, I WILL PROBABLY KILL MYSELF.
But I digress....

Here, are Yab's resolutions!

I've decided to do 7 ressys because I think it is a gloriously random number. However, when examined closely- you will find- 7 is a great number. It's just enough to actually work on and not lose focus.

1. get healthy.... obviously. (classic staple resolution)
more smoothies, juice, gym 4-6 times a week
get back into a better routine. But not really lose weight neccesarily (although that is always nice) but just feel better. Eat better, live better, feel better.


2. Work through my anxiety
I have been working pretty hard with my therapist lately. Probably harder than I have worked on anything therapeutically. I will fight and conquer THIS.


3. find passion
I am doing a lot of life things, this year. From interning, to volunteering, to everything else. I want to really find what it is I have been searching for for so long and SEIZE IT.

4. wake up early, everyday
I sleep way too much. This is better than my old habits of not sleeping at all, but ive gotten into the habit of waaay too much sleep. I have already started working on this and I'm making progress.
Comfortably sleeping until 12-1pm is not ok.



5. Educate myself
I'm taking sometime off of school, that doesn't mean I can't still be learner. I have a larger drawer  (because I have no room for a bookshelf) of books. And I have my beloved kindle.
Currently reading: Journey to the Souls

6. Put less pressure on myself.
I tend to be my own worst enemy and biggest critique. Not so good.


7. Give back, better my soul
I am doing a lot of volunteer work currently, and for this upcoming year. I am doing this at the suggestion of my family but I really am hoping to gain something great out of it.

I honestly feel like these are all sort of cliche and cheesy, but HEY, I think they are good goals and I will work my hardest to accomplish them.