The Romantic Gesture

I think the worst part of a break up is not the break up but the realization that it's over.

People get in fights, they argue and make up. But people also break up.

I've never really been dumped. I've had multiple fake relationships where things have just fizzled out.

I've always had to break up with people. I've never wanted to end things with someone, it's always been a had to. 

There was this one guy I use to hook up with and by the end of things I screamed at him to get out of my room. That was the only time I never wanted to see someone again.

This one guy dumped me but we 'dated' for a day and it was the stupidest decision I've ever made in my life.

But I digress.

What I mean is, something I referred to in my last blog post, the "romantic gesture."

I broke up with my internet boyfriend and I'm wishing so bad that he would just show up my door, tell me everything he said was wrong, I'm the best thing that ever happened to him, he can't let me go, yada yada ya
But I have to keep reminding myself:
THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN. That WON'T HAPPEN.

The boy I broke up with almost four years ago isn't going to magically send me a letter confessing his love for me, or show up at my door either. In fact he's not even going to text me probably because I deleted him on Facebook and he probably thinks I hate him not that I think about him constantly.

The movies confuse all of us. Making us think that there will be these romantic gestures, when the fact is they are a lot smaller.
People are just people. There are no scripts IRL, no writers (except me- and I write after the fact not during, or before, or for the scene).

 "we're not the exception, we're the rule"

That's not to say people don't fight for the ones they love. Yes, I believe in love and romantic gestures are real. But we all can't have these delusions of grander!
But I can say this,
One day I will be the exception for someone. It may not be who I think, or really want it to be, but someone will fight to have me in their life.
And I won't give up on that.

I think the movie He's Just Not That Into You, spells it out for everyone.
People constantly reference it.... Like if you're one of my friends and you tell me one more time, "Oh you need to watch He's Just Not That Into You...." I swear to fucking God I will punch you in the face. YES I'VE SEEN THE GODDAMN MOVIE. But if you haven't you should really watch this.

I will find someone who thinks I'm funny and loves my crazy. Someone who can't live without that. 

I mean, I'm only 23. So it's honestly ok. 

Plus I love myself. I really do. So I will wait and one day I will without out a doubt be the exception. 

But it does hurt. 

When it's totally over. And you realize that. Nothings going to happen. It's just. Over. 

That's the worst part of a break up.