Monday, September 16, 2013

Savor Life.

It's hard leaving things behind. I've talked about this before, many times, but it really is hard. What's even harder then leaving things behind is watching what happens to them after you are gone and no longer apart of them.

Saying good bye and removing myself from Burlington was extremely difficult. I feel very happy with the decision I made to come home for good but getting to see what happens to #BTV while I'm not there is just fucking painful.

Seeing people who were very awkward and shy, while I was/am loud and obnoxious, become huge personalities is weird. Seeing other people that I don't know enter my, old, world and become best friends with my friends is surreal. Having my friends meet my other friends and become better friends then I was with either of them is bizarre.
The whole situation makes me really hate social media.

Seeing big events (such as the Otis Mountain Music festival-which happened this weekend) where I know I would have been makes me have serious FOMO.

I try to be happy and not come up with resentments but I do have a sour taste in my mouth about certain people these days and the way they present themselves. And guess what ? I'm allowed to have my fucking opinion.



I want to say this though: Savor life. Sometimes you are holding you're breathe waiting for things to begin and that is literally the biggest waste of time. Life ends faster then the years it takes to make it what it was. Don't waste your life waiting for something to start. If you are waiting for something, anything, savor that waiting period because you are still gaining experience. People spend too much time waiting for a particular moment, including myself. Take the time to enjoy where you are at. Even if it is horrible.  You are alive and so are the people around you, if not tomorrow definitely today.



That might not seem related to what I was talking about but I think it is, and I was just thinking about it today and felt it need to be said.



But I am really happy with the way my life is going IRL and I can't continue to worry about what people put on the internet.


I will say this. I made an impression on a lot of people in Burlington, VT. I did things. I went places. And I'm going to move mountains.

I ain't cocky I'm just stating the obvious.
But that is only the first place I will have to move on from. I'm only 2-23. IAMNOW23.
I plan on taking over and conquering several cities, and maybe even countries in this life of mine.


I think I'm on the right road to doing just that.

The worst is behind me.





Although #BTV was a defining city in my life, up to this point, it wasn't the most positive place for me. I have high hopes that I will find another new city and make it totally mine. It'll be even better then before.

Say Good Bye and Look Ahead. 


Saturday, September 7, 2013

Somedays. And my life- in a nut shell, actually just in a blog post.

Somedays aren't yours at all




Don't get me wrong some days are really good. But some days are just not good days.

Somedays beyond suck and just break you down.
Somedays you think you are going to have an awesome day and then everything turns horribly horrible.

These past couple of weeks I have been all over the place emotional, well and literally.

I have been living in between my mom and my dads houses, as well as out of my car. It's just really all together confusing. My car is literally filled with my shit. I want my own apartment but I can not afford it yet, luckily I have my car...

Sometimes this great thing happens with a bad day though, it's followed by a really good day.

Yesterday I was in a very bad mood because of a bikini wax gone horribly, horribly, horribly wrong. However, today was a good day.

You must cherish the good days. 


Don't forget: a cup of tea really helps, always.


I could end here
but I won't.

Ok so here's what's been happening aside from just being a bag lady and living out of my car:

I got a j0b!! YAY. Income. Thank. God. And I'm still nannying and hopefully by the end of this semester, if my shopping problem doesn't take over my life, I'll be a few steps closer to my independence and living in the city.
#shoppingproblem.

As for my love life... well.... I've decided to stick to the internet, texting, social media apps-such as tinder, which I've blogged about before, and really no face to face communication.

Today at work I talked to a girl who met her boyfriend over twitter and there was another girl who was going on a date with someone she met over facebook. Which of course makes me question my generation, but also justifies that it's ok I've been talking to someone for a while that I met not irl. I am not going to elaborate on this. Ask me in real life, if I'm ever out there, and I'll explain.

Somedays you can write and somedays nothing is right. Today I can write. I am grateful for that.

I have a new AA meeting I go to in the city and I really like it. I have sober friends that I really love getting to know more and more.
Fweinds.


I'm definitely working on real life relationships too, despite my addiction to the internet, o and shopping... Hey at least I'm recovered in some aspects.

The most amazing thing in my life right now is this little ball of glitter that I found. It was a true gift from god and it is my spirit ball. Why? Because I stay... #groundedbyglitter













I'll leave you with this.