pink to black

My pink cloud of happiness has turned a deeper shade of gray.

It's hard being a 20something. 

Trying to figure everything out. I get too ahead of myself.

I miss my happiness and freedom.
I feel stuck and alone.
I know I'm not alone, but easier said then done, or whatever.

I miss my former life. 

My walkable neighborhood that was #btv.

I miss laughing, having a schedule, being productive, knowing where my friends are, having friends.

So for right now, I'm just holding on. To me.

My Inner Circle

I haven't always put myself in the best situations, but I've always made the best friends. Near and Far. 


It's hard to know who to trust. And who to believe in.
When you go through something trying you find who your real friends are.

Real friends.

Someone told me recently you can organize your friends into a pyramid.
Kinda like the food pyramid

I have:

My family

my besty besties

My lovebugs, my babuhs 

and that's about it. 

If your not included in this, and you don't know what I'm talking about, I'm over it. Or you. 

Someone who's not your friend will stab you in the back, but your real friends will stab you in the front. They know what hurts, and they know what you need to hear.

Even when it's not what you want.

For the homies.

Hugs not Drugs.


#groundedbyglitter

Dirty Habits

HEY DID YOU KNOW!?

CIGARETTES KILL PEOPLE 

Ok so you may have known that. 

But you may not know this!

There's a pretty cool way to quit, Electronic Cigs!

Yab's been trying to quit most of her dirty habits, including smoking. So I personally have made the switch to E-cigs.

I chose to get the starter kit from V2 cigs.

smoke inside,

and the smoke disappears!

not even a smell!

Why v2? cause I now have a pink cig, aduh- No brainer.

o0oOo And if your ready to throw in the rug on your cancer sticks I have a coupon for you! EXCITING RIGHT!?

Choose V2 now until May 31, 2012 and use this special promo code to get 15% off: rainyday

And eventually, yes, mine will be bejeweled. 

Why? because I stay, always, 

#groundedbyglitter. 

Hello, Goodbye.

Summer 2012 is among us
AND IT MAY BE OUR LAST OMG OMG OMG! 
nahh not really went to the Maya Exhibit today.

It's confirmed yabbers~ 2012 will not be the end. As far as Mayan observers, observe.

2011 is over and done with I know that much.

I wrote this little ditty that I would like to share with ya'll about last summer

I don't usually go back and release my old writing, but I'm making an exception, to make way for summer 12. 

So here ya ago. For those who care,

SUMMER 11 0bVi- just a little goodbye to make you cry:

You came and went way to fast. I can't believe it's all over, a summer of:

biking, cliff jumping, hand holding, tomato stealing, biking, star gazing, slap cup playing, buffaloving, skate ramp building, friend making, becoming part of something, going back to philly for a sec then coming back home, gaining trust back in myself and the world, half off burgers- only at riras, baby playing with my children, losing friends-making real ones- and finding family you never knew you had, moonbathon, superball, twitter, bisco stories, jobs, handy men and boss man menken, weed, living out of suit cases, binge drinking fer dayz, no rules but house rules and our own. 

It ended with good byes and hellos, and some serious Adele overload. 

“It was the time of our lives.”

I will never forget those long ass days and drama filled nights that included:

Door patrolling- complete with lists and stamps but everyone still got in, live music, shared weed and good beer- shocktop, ufo harpoon, bluemoon you name it we’ve had it, sandwich making, face drawing- asked for or not, waking up and not knowing how you got there but knowing exactly where you were, getting hammered at harry potter, weed butter, new apartments and areas of town- little Havana, the cock and the brothel, my very own crack den and the ladies and gents of mid town. 

~we will one day forget some of these things, but until them, I’11 never forget another defining summer~

Road trips with my bestie and having to continue the summer without her, being homeless and figuring it out myself, pumped up kids, cigs, packs of cigs, handing out cigs, grimy ass fungus growing in basements- with no lights that weren’t red or blue, pull out couches, muploads, glitter and rave fairies, beaches never opening and then rejoicing when they did! 

This summer made me invincible. Comparing the last two years I fully understand that I can do anything. 

Look at me now. 

We did everything spontaneous!

Neck piercing, new sunnies, glow in the dark shit, gypsies all over town, doing laundry or dishes for weed or booze or 5 bucks, living off the dollar menu, poor girl diet, puppies and dogs, long time good byes and travel story hellos, BUIs, drunk fights and sober sorrys, dancing girl, kegs and cops, weekly flip cup, lakeside chillen and getting baked by or in the sun, jews, spunions lost and found, life jackets, body paint, getting to push a button on the DJ stand, knowing the DJ omgomgomg, getting into the party cause it’s strictly #btv summer crew and obviously that includes you. Becoming a local and being young, wild, and free smoking weed. 

Bittersweet

Moving home has been... not a piece of cake.
I like it though, having home again. Being home.

It gets lonely though.









I miss my frands. 
My truest of loves. 


A part of me will always find a little bit of home in #btv. Wether I like it, or not.
It's where I really grew up.

Or atleast started too.


Miss you. <3 




x0x0

New Haircut

FUCK YABS GOT A NEW FACE

haircut!

young, healthy, and free

but forealsies, it's just me 

hehe

#groundedbyglitter

Dancin

I don't so much rely on the stars anymore.
I like to read my horoscope, but I definitely don't need it anymore, which is good!

Yab's got a new job and another job interview coming up!

"THINGS ARE LOOKING UP!" @zacharyallott

#groundedbyglitter
nd tutus

L.e.t.t.e.r.s.

I think Letters have a gravity that goes beyond most of the communication used in this day and age.

Letters.

Like, ya kna, hand written letters.


I find myself writing a lot of letters lately.
Some of them are for me, to me. Some are for you. 


Knowing when to send these are difficult.

And send off itself is questionable. 

If I'm mad at you, should I...
rip it up, burn it, or send it?

How much can a letter hurt someone?

If I love you I should send it. Or should I?


Why not?

There is a real power in letters, that we can't feel in the rest of today's communications.

Should I hand you a letter I hand wrote? Or should I mail you the typed up version?

And If I do send you said letter, will you even care? Does it matter?

Shoulda, woulda, coulda.


For me the hardest part of a letter is getting it out, 
Of me. On to paper, for you.


I could type up a letter in five minutes.
But that just wouldn't be the same, now would it?

x0x0 G.

#groundedbyglitter 

Smart phone today Dgone the next.

Some dogs just never learn.

We've now had several remotes eaten, a pair of shoes, and now... my first smart phone, my tiny little crack berry. Eaten. 

By... 

This fellow.

Atleast he knows not to eat my glasses.

back to ma roots. (dumb phone. dumb dog.)

~sigh~

It was a lovely Mother's Day however, despite the dog trials.

Some Days...

Sometimes Most of the time,
The best you can be 
is you.

And if that's not good enough, you need to just push yourself.
Dance a little more, laugh a little more, cry it out and then hug it out.

Even if it's just you.

Or your dawgs.
Literarily or figuratively, it's fine, either way.

Some days, are just dog days. 

Rainy Days, Happy Days

I've written about the rain before.
And the misery it use to bring to me.

But now I remember what Stevie says,
Thunder only happens when it's Raining. 

I like it when it rains now.

I like thunder, it's out of my control.


Ask me anything and I'll give you a straight answer,
I know misery, heartbreak, and now recovery.



Don't ask me about love though, I won't be able to answer that one.














On the upside of today
Guess who has a new album ? one of my ultimate favs
(been waiting for this for a while) (!)

Read about it, it's a good one.

Rest Your wary Head

I've been doing a lot of work on gratitude and with that, changing my attitude. 

I never realized, not only how many things, I'm grateful for, but how much I've taken these things, for granted.

I'm done with that.
Not with the things- the people, places, experiences, posessions, passion that I have- but the taking them for granted aspect.


All I want is peace of mind, a simple piece of my mind, to just be able to sleep.


But I am hopefully for everyday.





So maybe tonight, I'll dream of me and sleep with ease. 




cause those housewives are exhausting, even with their third eyes!
(if you don't know what I'm talking about... lucky you)

jersey catch up, in case they entertain you too.

Being Ok

It's hard to just be sometimes.

Some days I, personally, want to just run, away. From it all.

From life, death, the dying, the crying, the agony that is sadness.
And sometimes from the happiness too.

There's nothing real about a fake smile. 












If your not happy, change something. 


Learning that everything is not all in my control, and that a lot of things are out of my hands, has been, and will be one of the hardest lessons I have to learn.

Not everyday is Ok. 
But whether you like it or not, there is something good in everyday.

Find that and hold on to that.

 But you don't have to do it alone.

And you don't have to pretend things are ok when they are not.

But you should smile when you can.
Because no matter who you are, sunshine always radiates. 

Attitude of Gratitude.

I love the stars. 

Even though  I've been through hell, I've met a lot of angels on the way.

My support system is longer than most, and has only become larger with the struggles I've endured. I've put myself, friends, and family through a lot of bullshit. All I can do, now, is take everyday like my last and really understand that. We are never guaranteed a tomorrow.

Gab.

If you wanna sit there and laugh and call me silly or whatever, go ahead.
I will choose to not be insulted.
Because
I feel my body, mind and spirt growing.
In ways you might, but probably wouldn't understand. That is unless you really did know me...

We all hav our own journeys and adventure to go through. You will experience ups and downs wether you like it or not. 

You can not choose the situations that come upon you. However, you can re-act. 

I'm glad I don't control the weather cause I'd make this heartache better.

And finally, xoxo

Medicine Wheel

Believing in something, is the only way to get to where you want to go

I believe in healing,
in so many different ways.


There's therapy, and then there's holistic ways to understand yourself.

Like the medicine wheel.


I've done some work with spirit animals and their healing powers. 
~I dabble ~




And of course, my long time spirit creature is the Koala. 

This tiny, ferocious creature has lead me to who I am today. 

But I'm working to find my~ wings~

Which bird is for me?

Thoughts?

maybe a chicken?
or a loon-y bird

x0x0 

x0x0 <3 me