And you have to appreciate those days.
But today was fan-fucking-tastic.
These past two days have been aimed at rejuvenation. For work we've had this mid-year/mid-way training session to help us get through the rest of our year of service. Our sessions have been a little tedious and at times a little pointless but I think I got the gist down pretty well, and I really do feel like taking back my mission by storm.
We also had a battle where every school had a team, that came up with a cheer and there was a competition best cheer. I was on our team... We did not win... BUT we got laughs, which is always the goal. They were not, I REPEAT- NOT, ready for us.
I think I may be doing so well, and feeling so good, right now because I have thrown myself back into my program of recovery. I have been taking care of myself and pushing myself to do better. I don't have to get everything done in a day but if I do a little bit, then a little bit more, eventually I have done a lot.
I am attaining goals and setting new ones.
I also have put the right people into my life. The statement, "those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind," is really true. As Yab always says FUCK THE HATERS.
I have to much love in my heart to let bad people make me react in bad ways.
I have begun to move the fuck on. And I see doors opening up every which way. And... it's fan-fucking-tastic.
I am one to quite frequently say, "sorry, I am not sorry." And I have never recanted a statement that I have made on this blog. But something has really been bothering me and I want to address it.
In my last blog post I said that I was not born from a great love. I want to clarify: I was not born from a place of ill will or hate.
It is just hard for me to wrap my head around my parents as a couple. All I have ever known is them apart and as separate entities. But I believe there was this period ~somewhere in some space of time~ that they really truly loved each other. I have seen proof of it in pictures and in writings. I know it existed at sometime but I never experienced it.
|This bitch was a mess.|
Although I am cursed as a child of divorce, I am blessed with two incredible families that I would not trade for the world.
On really good days it is important to be grateful. Gratitude, in my opinion, is the corner stone of life.
Tomorrow might be hell, but today... today was good.